Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought you would be further ahead
in life by now?
If you have, you are not alone.
I would like to share this story with you so you can remember that you are not alone.
This is the one BIG thing that helped me see we are all on this path together and how we can support and encourage each other, as women, through this rollar coaster ride called "LIFE"
How it all began
Years ago now, I was running a restaurant as well as organising the Festival of Consciousness, which was an annual event that was about introducing people to all the healing modalities and spiritual topics in San Marcos La Laguna, Guatemala.
There was a woman named Angela who always came in to eat. I loved her energy as she always seemed radiant and happy. She was a regular on “The Porch” which is a place where people drink cacao and generally work through their issues. I was wondering if she did anything besides drink chocolate, so one day I asked her. It turned out she was actually a trained doctor. I asked her if she would be interested in doing a workshop for the Festival of Consciousness and she said she would think about it.
As I passed her on the path one day she said she had finally decided what her workshop was going to be about. She said, “I am going to do a workshop on healing the womb. How many women do you think I should expect as I need to prepare the cacao?”
I thought for a minute, checking in with my own feelings (read judgements), thinking surly that only a few people would show up to a workshop with that theme. So I answered, “Maybe 5 or 6?”
Well, afterwards I checked in with Angela to see how many attended. Turned out that 45 women and 1 man (to hold the space of the sacred masculine) showed up. She had to grate WAY MORE cacao than either of us has anticipated!
Needless to say, I was shocked and it dawned on me that maybe I was missing something. What part of me was so resistant to claiming my femininity?
My Personal Experience
So, I grew up in a family of 6, my mom, dad and three sisters. I was the 2nd oldest. I was not particularly close to any of them. Although my parents loved us, we were not very expressive with our emotions. I was always a little more of a Tom Boy and never really was into more feminine toys, activities or even friendships. My best friends were often boys and then men as I grew older. I was much more comfortable with them than I ever was with women.
In university I joined a fraternity (all women, there was just no legal definition of Sorority in Canada.) I wish I could say this was a positive experience but for the most part it wasn’t. Typical of young women, there was a lot of bullying, calling others down an unsupportive behaviour as well as SO MUCH DRAMA. It was very inconsistent to the person, values and ethics I wanted to emanate in my life.
Although a few close friendships formed it is completely fair to say that most women TERRIFYED me after living with thirteen women in one house.
Back to the Story
So, after the success of the festival workshop Angela began a women’s circle with cacao. As I was the one who had initially asked her to do the workshop and as I was clearly missing something, I went.
I used to eat chocolate pretty much daily. However, it was not chocolate. It was mostly sugar, with a small amount of chocolate. Pure cacao is very different. It is bitter and definitely not a drink I was accustomed to. They say Cacao is a heart opening medicine and my experience was exactly this. Not only was my body vibrating like I had just ingested a drug but I physically felt so much emotion. Perhaps it was the combination of being in a room with 25 other women (terrifying) and like the first high you get when you introduce a new substance into your body.
The format of the circle was simple, with only a few guidelines.
- It was a sacred space. The conversations were meant to stay in the circle.
- NO FIXING
Speaking Out Loud
Much to my surprise, when it was my time to speak, with my heart pounding, I would introduce myself and almost instantaneously break into tears. (What on earth was happening!!???) I was so embarrassed. I thought how on earth could I be running a therapy center and not be able to say my name without crying? What was coming out of me? Well, it turned out it was, emotion. Unexpressed, supressed emotions that I clearly never had the chance, or avoided feeling, when they arose. I was shocked, thinking I really thought I was more together than I apparently was.
Speaking up and out loud in a room full of women was actually one of the most healing experiences of my life. To own my feelings, take responsibility for them and express what was going on a deeper level was hugely therapeutic. Don’t get me wrong. I have always been hugely empathic and generally felt TOO much. Yet, the expression of it was what I truly needed to shift.
After regular attendance, I softened. It seemed I had faced my fear and it was okay, more than okay actually. I felt a sense of safety, support and understanding with the other women in attendance I also saw that my story is not just MY STORY.
There was not a woman in that room that expressed something that I either had not experienced, will experience, or that I can at least be compassionate to. We get hung up on our own details yet, we are all on the same journey. We mirror each other and have so much to learn and share.
Breaking the Shell
I used to be so guarded about breaking down. Now I am not. I know that breaking is a process. First we break down, then we break open and then we break through. We do not break; it is our expectations that get broken. How we think the world should be and how it is, do not always align which causes us discomfort, disconnection and pain.
If life was all rainbows, butterflies and sparkles we would also be bored silly. We need these moments and lessons to learn, to push us and to shift us into the best version of ourselves. When we are vulnerable, raw and authentic with ourselves and each other, that is when lasting change happens.
If you are at the point in your life where you want to make lasting change and feel the support and community with other conscious women, NOW is he time to make the commitment to that.
We will meet from 9:30 to 5 to explore, learn and share with each other. We will discover how to listen, speak our truth, feel more connected, move and work through some of the challenges we face like: feeling fried, scrambled and separate. Honestly, working in a group is an excellent way to make bigger change as there are people who will hold you accountable for your words and ACTION.
Honestly, do you wake up every morning feeling alive, full of energy and focused? You blink, and it’s Monday again, or a year has passed. Are you ready to make a change in your life to feel more fulfilled, connected and balanced now?
Still not sure? Really?
You do not have to walk your path alone.
You do not have to carry the weight of the world (energetically or physically) on your shoulders.
You do not have to have the answers to everything and please everyone.
You can’t continue to give everyone else your time and energy and have nothing left for YOU.
You are allowed to stop, reconnect and listen to your heart.
You are worth spending time on.
Deepen your internal connection and to those in this community.
You create your own story, if it is time for a rewrite, this is for you!
Your life will meet the expectations of those you surround yourself with so, CHOOSE wisely.
It’s time to be the best version of yourself. What are you waiting for?
Then Click on the button below to register:
Q1000 per person (including one treatment with Katherine and lunch at Vida)
Friday, February 21st